Where’s a life coach when you need one.  It’s 1 a.m., I lay in bed tossing and turning wondering what coach I have on speed dial that will take a call at that hour. I am reminded of something I heard years ago in AA, there will be moments when you only have your “higher power” to rely on because another human may not always be there by phone, email or text. If you have something bigger than you, there will always a fallback, just so you won’t drink.

Well I wasn’t going to drink, jump off the roof maybe, but not drink. Sabotage my life perhaps, but no t drink. Feel self hatred and fear, but not drink. All those feelings that one would attempt to medicate through drinking or addictive behavior, I lay there and felt in the dark of my room and wondered if sleep would ever take me away to allow the feelings to subside for a few hours. Feeling the feelings is a bitch.

The hamster wheel thoughts were those “what if” crazy unsolvable thoughts. What if my upcoming event doesn’t fill? What if I sabotage my offers because I’m afraid? What if I never achieve my vision? What if I do achieve my vision? What if I really am an impostor? What if I am pretending to be something I’m not? What if people just plain frickin’ don’t like me?

With the dawn of morning, the question presents in the daylight a different way. What the heck am I doing here and what is the meaning of life? I giggle as I scan my conscious brain for answers. The memory file pops open a draw labeled: Movies: The folder spills open to “Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy.”

There is a ridiculously satirical scene that poses the question this way from citizens of the Galaxy.

Citizens: “We’d really like the answer to life, the universe and everything – something simple.”

A reply comes from the huge computer which was created to come up with answer.

Big Giant Computer: “Come back in 7.5 million years”

Next scene Fast Forward 7.5 million years.

Citizens: “Do you have the answer?”

Big Giant Computer – “YES, but you’re not going to like it — the answer to life, the universe and everything IS ‘42’. It would have been easier to have known what the exact question was.”

Citizens: “It was THE question, the ultimate question, of everything.”

Big Giant Computer: “That’s not a question. When you know the question, you’ll know what the answer means.”

Citizens – “Give us the ultimate question”.

Grateful for the technology we imesh ourselves in daily, with a couple of keystrokes I was able to replay this clip on You Tube and make myself giggle.

The question isn’t “what is the answer to life, the universe and everything”, “it’s how might I be an expression of the unique experience called me?”

The same is true for you and together we get to stumble through this galaxy and have our fears and insecurities serve as sign posts to that galaxy of love and light that is beyond these cultural stereotypes and find humor in the seriousness of it all.

Taking myself too seriously can be dangerous to this galaxy because you and I are needed to evolve and create more movies like hitchhiker, more technology like You Tube, more seminars sharing our inherent gifts and more community to support each other in proving through faith or logic that there is something bigger at play.

So today I rely on this higher power, or the super computer depicted in the movie or just the notion that I am more than my fears to laugh and find the answer to the life, the universe and everything. I am the question and the answer.

The line in the movie “the Babel fish proves God exists”, is what I will hold onto today.” Even though I cannot definitively “prove” through our current scientific models that “a higher power” exists, I find comfort in knowing that there is something about you and I that is more intelligent and special than the Babel fish or the most intelligent species the dolphins.

If you need a giggle today, their chorus as they leave the earth: 

So long and thanks for all the fish.