I cut my middle finger, “bird finger” slicing an onion, a few nights ago. It was deep and started bleeding profusely. I quickly put two Band Aids awkwardly covering the tip. This finger sticks out further than all the others and is involved in all of my day to day activities. Just as this finger is to important to my daily life so too is my belief system which is always front and center in every one of my life experiences. Thinking my finger was healed yesterday I took the Band Aid off. The flap of skin continued to flap around. I knew I could not leave it uncovered so put another on.
This morning the replacement Band Aid came off in the shower and this little flap of skin caught on something and ripped off. Now the wound was beginning to bleed again. Quickly I replaced the Band Aid AGAIN!
Realizing then the wound would heal only if I continued to protect it and care for it, it struck me this Band Aid was a lot like the search for a Band Aid for my Soul Id been having this week. We all need that protection and care when we have opened an old wound (our beliefs) that have kept us stuck for years and continue to bleed when not properly protected allowing a new skin, a new belief, to heal over it.
Those wounds show up in behavior that Don Miguel Ruiz outlines in his book The Four Agreements. I have read that book several times and the one that brings me nose to nose with my underlying limiting beliefs is “Don’t Take Anything Personally”.
Just as all the Agreements Don Miguel speaks to “Be Impeccable with Your Word”, “Don’t Make Assumptions”, “Always Do Your Best” and “Don’t Take Anything Personally” each of them is an Agreement to be the best version of myself I can be.
He writes: “Awareness is always the first step because if you are not aware, there is nothing you can change. If you are not aware that your mind is full of wounds and emotional poison, you cannot begin to clean and heal the wounds and you will continue to suffer.”
Just as my finger would not heal if I did nothing to clean and protect it, so too my Soul will never heal and transform if I do not become aware that there is a wound.
Whatever someone says or does or does not do and I feel hurt, it isn’t that person who has hurt me it is my own wounds that I have allowed to be touched by what has occurred. I am hurting myself with these thoughts. It is so easy to create an entire picture or movie in my mind where I am the director, producer, main character and editor. My point of view is simply that, a point of view generated from a wound from long ago. So whether the behaviors surrounding me are not enough responses to a seminar, a perceived slight from a colleague who is distracted, a comment from another given in jest which reminds me of the fat little girl I used to be or comparing my insides to other younger more beautiful outsides, they are the blood of an old wound that needs to be healed.
So what can you and I do to protect this wound and allow it to heal? Begin today to place your trust in yourself rather than the actions or words of others. Awareness is the key to healing this wound. Just as my finger was bleeding and I became aware of the cut, becoming aware of the blood that is the signal to our wound is when we are taking a situation personally. Notice those moments you believe life is not supporting you. Write those moments down. Cleaning the wound is going to the core of those beliefs and meet the experience face to face that created that wound.
Placing a Band Aid on the wound is the process of focusing on the opposite of your wounding belief. If your belief is, I’m too old, fat, ugly, untalented, can’t sing can’t win, or the myriad of conversations we tell ourselves choose this:
Begin with forgiving yourself and anyone who may have helped create the wound. Whether it be parents, brother, sisters, friends or God. Accept yourself and those around you just the way they are.
The next is to Live Like You Were Dying. Ask yourself what would you do if you knew you had two weeks to live? Would you approach others with the conversation “Poor me, I am going to die” and create drama OR would you enjoy your life. Decide to be yourself and live life as YOU.
Begin each day saying “I am awake, I see the sun. I am going to give my gratitude to the sun and to everything and everyone because I am still alive. One more day to be myself.”
These are your Band Aids and you must not remove them until they have healed the wound and stopped the bleeding of the emotional cuts which lie below them. How will you know? When you no longer Take Anything Personally!